.......Mistress noted my efforts and began giving me some breath from chores ,even sparing me now and than half a litre of that awful tea that lingered in my mouth the whole night,sometimes she would call me in the morning and say no enema today (ooohhh how generous she is),what was never skipped was the two big tablespoons of that dreaded horrible amber liquid, castor oil,mistress really took pleasure in giving it to me ,every evening at 07.40 ding ding ding the spoon against the bottle went and i had to go near her ...open your mouthyyy moutyyy she would order with a smile ........things had took a turn for the best for me ,than one day while cleaning the bathroom I overheard mistress tell her partner that Marcus will be back and continued talking about him and how endowed he is ,at the same time i dropped something ,mistress came to see what happened and i turned around quickly..Turn around what are you hiding she thundured ,TURN AROUND i said ,,i turned reluctantly and since i was. Society says that men don?t cry and that ladies shouldn?t raise their voice. Society tries to stomp out our emotions and kill who we really are. After being changed it is worse, much worse. You see after being changed you stay who you are in your mind. Twenty something years of personal history is very hard to throw away over night. There is no magic to wearing girl's clothes, or to sex, or to hormones. Heck, ask any scientist, hormones may amplify emotions but they do not create them or control them. With time you do adapt to the change, but adaptation does not mean you love it. You keep your old mind but have to act like someone else to survive. It makes the oppression of day to day life much worse. I step off the bus onto my driveway and walk up to my house, I go inside and slip off my dress and read the paper while smoking a cheap cigar. Soon after my wife comes home. She?s uncomfortable with my body, wearing business suits and it shows. She?s in sales, and she?s a good sales.
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